What I Wore

by Lorna Salzman

The Sunday Styles section of the May 8th NY Times featured "What I Wore", a daily log by fashion design consultant Patricia Lansing, daughter of Carolina Herrera, which posed as a diary but actually functioned as a puff piece for high-priced luxury fashion designers.

One of her good clothes days' reports (there was one for each day of the week) ran like this: "It was a roll up your sleeves kind of day. I work on this charity and we had an event at night. I helped set up in a Steven Allen button-down white shirt, vintage jeans from What Goes Around Comes Around and my comfy silver Sigerson Morrison flat Mary Janes. ...My mom gave me this bag in a great shape called the Matryoshka. It's a total Mary Poppins bag. I had 15 minutes to get ready for the charity event. I threw on a Marc Jacobs cropped cardigan I've had forever, this very light pink Tabitha Simmons heel and 1920s earrings that my husband gave me".

The rest of the week followed in the same vein. It was truly gripping to feel Lansing's excitement as she selected her items, so exciting, in fact, that I decided on the spot that I would allow the world a look at my fashion choices too.

I woke up on Monday morning in my Osama bin Laden shalwar kamiz pajamas, hand spun in Pakistan, and after breakfast, for my morning Central Park jog, I chose my Yogi Berra sneakers which I have had forever; they really knew how to make things last in those days. Even the laces were vintage.

Returning from the jog I took a shower and then put on my Jack the Ripper jeans with velcro closures in front and back, and to let my feet recuperate I put on my special recycled thongs made from humanely slaughtered seal skin, and then sat down to read my e-mail.

After that it was time for a quick lunch and a change for my afternoon board meeting for which I chose my austere low-key Mao Mao tunic in a subdued color, embellished with a one of a kind woven horsehair belt custom made by the Attila the Hun Workshop.

The board meeting was a bit long so I had to rush back to my apartment to change into something more elegant for cocktails. I chose an off-the-shoulder hand embroidered peasant blouse from the J. Stalin line of Gulag Design Studio, with a different pair of Jack the Ripper jeans more suited for the occasion, in crushed velvet.

After cocktails I had plenty of time to freshen up for the evening charity event, so I went home and showered and chose an awesome Houdini see-through blouse, with a Qaddafi kaffiyah over it for discretion's sake.

I decided it was time to display my special acquisition, bought at a Berlin auction after World War II: a bag covered in real mother of pearl buttons that dated from the 1930s and 1940s and which were probably rescued from discarded clothing of refugees. Maybe Eva Braun carried it at her wedding? The bag had been discovered later and found its way to my boudoir. Now Goebbels' Girls American fashion affiliate is making replicas but I have the original. Lucky me!

© 2002 Lorna Salzman. All rights reserved. Material may be quoted with permission.